I notice so much about this poem. Six stresses per line (except for one line) and irregularly iambic - this supposed to be a difficult line to work with but it works here - it gives it a stately pace which supports the formal religious language and mystical themes. But it is meant to be bathetic - not so? Because the comparison of a spiritual practice of deliberate debauchery with doomscrolling is over the top? See I am not sure. But I think it excellent - technically competent, informed scholarship, but brought to a focus on the real by the simple, direct and elegant ending. Well done!
Thank you William. Very kind of you. It's maybe bathetic. There's a strong juxtaposition intended by the comparison, but I hope the series as a whole will develop it into something more uncanny than merely bathetic. I appreciate the comment.
"All religious, moral, and social customs seem to the qalandar full of hypocrisy, so they become an outcast, choosing to live among the wretched and the wicked, to dispel themselves of any pretentions they may harbor. They often drink and gamble and debase themselves."
This made me chuckle a bit. "Hmmm, I need to become less hypocritical and more spiritual. Should I fast? Self-flagellate? Give away all worldly possessions? Or, just spitballing here, maybe I should indulge in every possible sin to the utmost extent! Yeah, let's go with the latter option."
At any rate, this is a great poem. It's not a juxtaposition I would have thought of in a million years, but it works so well!
Thank you Alex. Yeah, it's one of those funny religious loopholes, like deathbed confessions or drunken monks. I imagine there were those who did it authentically, as a way of squashing their righteous egos, and other, more cynical ones for whom it gave permission to indulge in their worst tendencies. I wrote it after spending more time than I would've liked on X.
I notice so much about this poem. Six stresses per line (except for one line) and irregularly iambic - this supposed to be a difficult line to work with but it works here - it gives it a stately pace which supports the formal religious language and mystical themes. But it is meant to be bathetic - not so? Because the comparison of a spiritual practice of deliberate debauchery with doomscrolling is over the top? See I am not sure. But I think it excellent - technically competent, informed scholarship, but brought to a focus on the real by the simple, direct and elegant ending. Well done!
Thank you William. Very kind of you. It's maybe bathetic. There's a strong juxtaposition intended by the comparison, but I hope the series as a whole will develop it into something more uncanny than merely bathetic. I appreciate the comment.
"All religious, moral, and social customs seem to the qalandar full of hypocrisy, so they become an outcast, choosing to live among the wretched and the wicked, to dispel themselves of any pretentions they may harbor. They often drink and gamble and debase themselves."
This made me chuckle a bit. "Hmmm, I need to become less hypocritical and more spiritual. Should I fast? Self-flagellate? Give away all worldly possessions? Or, just spitballing here, maybe I should indulge in every possible sin to the utmost extent! Yeah, let's go with the latter option."
At any rate, this is a great poem. It's not a juxtaposition I would have thought of in a million years, but it works so well!
Thank you Alex. Yeah, it's one of those funny religious loopholes, like deathbed confessions or drunken monks. I imagine there were those who did it authentically, as a way of squashing their righteous egos, and other, more cynical ones for whom it gave permission to indulge in their worst tendencies. I wrote it after spending more time than I would've liked on X.
Bravo, Robert.
Thank you Mark.