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Metrical Poet's avatar

This deserves high praise. It feels like it was written by Ents.

I like the conceit that the trees are communicating through their roots.

Some of the nicest touches are in the little bridge passages between sections of dialogue, such as this:

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The forest grew lively, bristling in the

river breeze, their roots and crowns aquiver

with intrigue.

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The whole poem feels like you are inside a forest.

The vocabulary demonstrates intimate acquaintance with the subject matter without feeling like you have raided a botanical dictionary.

The blank verse flows well and is poised right on the precarious ledge between being old-fashioned enough to suit this kind of tale, and contemporary enough to not sound archaic and wooden. Though there is still the occasional archaism I would avoid (like "ope" as a one syllable equivalent of "open", assuming that it is not a typo).

My positive impression is mostly based on the flow of the verse and the overall mood and effect created by the descriptive language. The narrative itself (and characterisation) works so far, but I can't judge it without seeing how it unfolds in the rest of the poem.

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Peter Whisenant's avatar

Been reading this in stages over the past few days . . . I am eager to have it in book form, so I can dogear it and mark it up liberally. Any idea when it'll be coming out?

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