I've read a lot of your work, and this stately, dignified piece is my favorite. It showcases your talents, interests, proclivities perfectly. I find myself reading it over and over. One quibble though (I specialize in those, as you know): As I read it, every word takes its essential and inevitable place, except one: that "so" before "commonplace." When I delete that word from my reading of the poem, It is much improved. Damned adverbs!
I've read a lot of your work, and this stately, dignified piece is my favorite. It showcases your talents, interests, proclivities perfectly. I find myself reading it over and over. One quibble though (I specialize in those, as you know): As I read it, every word takes its essential and inevitable place, except one: that "so" before "commonplace." When I delete that word from my reading of the poem, It is much improved. Damned adverbs!
Thanks Peter. You might be right about that so. The whole thing can probably be tightened up a bit.
I was going for a stately, dignified style. Somewhere between Cavafy and some of Auden